A Memory Forgotten
by EnglandBabe1997
Summary: The Knights have forgotten what happened with Lamia. But do they really want to remember? And what does it have to do with how Gwen is behaving around them and Merlin's odd avoidance?
1. Leon

He doesn't know what's happened, what's happening, only the odd flashes of colour and the tenseness beneath the skin, like something is writhing to escape. It feels oddly right to let it out, only he doesn't know how he does.

He and the Knights have been ill tempered all day, petty fighting, and once actually coming to blows, right there in the middle of the camp. Their temper had bred from each other to focus on Gwen, who had been his friend since they were both children, and Merlin, who was the most kind-hearted person Leon had ever met.

Neither of them understood Lamia. They shied away from her like she was something frightening, like she was a terrible beast they needed to protect themselves from.

And he could handle that. People could misunderstand each other, and there was no shame in that miscommunication. People could even refuse to see a change, but that was alright because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's when they tried to convince him that Lamia was evil that he snapped, that the beast escaped, raging out from under the skin.

He can only remember the odd flashes of colour, red and purple, and then the dancing of flames, swinging through the air.

He doesn't remember anything else.

When he comes back to his senses Merlin is standing in front of him, stiffly, telling him that Lamia is controlling him, that she is evil, and the world disappears in a whirl of colour.

Next it is Gwen, trying to get Merlin to keep his mouth shut, and looking scared about something. It's probably Lamia and that makes the fury rise to the surface again and he steps towards her. Merlin stands in his way.

He doesn't remember anything else.

Only the blind anger, surging up from underneath his skin and exploding into fury, released with every punch and kick, hitting _something_.

He couldn't tell you what.

And when he finds out what, he doesn't want to.

oOo

They don't remember what has happened. They stir from their forced slumber, wearily, to find Gaius and Merlin hovering over them, and they breathe a sigh of relief because that means they are all fine. Even Elyan seems to have recovered from whatever had sickened him, and is back on his feet within hours.

They don't notice that the second they wake, Merlin leaves the tent in silence and doesn't come back.

They do notice how strangely Gwen is acting towards them, how coldly, almost impersonally. It stings a little, because they don't know what they have done, but even Elyan isn't spared her wrath, so it is probably something they've done simply by being male.

Arthur enters the tent.

And she is just fine with him.

Elyan frowns, because when Gwen has a problem she won't let a thing even like rank stop her from showing it. That means her problem is with the Knights, not with the male species.

He tells his fellow Knights so when the couple step outside for a moment, but none of them can think of what they've done. None of them can remember much of the last few days at all, which is slightly worrying, but all of them seem to be in relative good health so it's no matter. They can find out from Arthur.

But something they've done over the last few days has upset Gwen, and they don't know what it is.

And they don't even know how to start working it out.


	2. Merlin

**Sorry for the wait on this, I meant to have this up at least three days ago, but I got really distracted x I'm on Easter break at the minute, so you'll probably get another chapter within three days :)**

* * *

**Merlin's POV**

He knows it's not their fault, not really. It was Lamia's fault, the Knights couldn't help what they were doing.

But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Every time he looks at them he can't help but see the hatred in their eyes, the utter belief that he was nothing more than a servant.

And that _hurts_, especially coming from Gwaine, the one Knight (other than Lancelot) that he's always been able to count on. Gwaine doesn't know about his magic, but that doesn't mean Merlin doesn't trust him, just that he wants the Knight to stay safe.

And people who know about his magic end up dead.

He couldn't stand it if another person that he cared about died to protect his secret.

He's already lost Will, Freya, Balinor and Lancelot. He can't lose any more.

One of the first things he learnt in Camelot was hide his magic. The second thing was hide his suffering, to grin and bear it, and act the fool so that no one will look beneath the surface.

Pretend you're _alright_ because no one cares enough to dig deeper - either because you're a servant or because they're too busy with their own problems.

It's not their fault, he reminds himself. Lamia was strong, he could sense that, even if her magic couldn't touch his.

It wasn't their fault, the mantra inside his head tells him.

It wasn't their fault.

He walks down the corridor, glad to be back in Camelot at last, and a Knight walks around the corner. It's not one of the one's he's friendly with, never mind the one's that went with him, but he can't help but back away slightly.

The Knight doesn't even look at him, until Merlin hisses in pain as one of his bruises catches up against the wall, sending sharp spurts of pain up his back.

"Alright Merlin?" Sir William asks him, continuing down the corridor before even getting an answer.

Merlin pulls up his shirt to inspect the bruising as soon as the corridor is clear and he can't even lie to himself, never mind a Knight. "No, I'm not."

He's not alright.

Not yet.


	3. Gwen

**When I started this I wasn't sure where it was going, but I think I've got it all planned out now in my head x The chapter's won't be long, not much longer than this, but there should be another four of them (if what I'm planning works out), maybe five x Please read and review x**

**Gwen's POV**

Gwen doesn't know what to think, what to do. Despite everything else she's faced, this isn't something she's encountered before.

Somehow she's surprised that this is the first time. Because this is the most effective way of destroying them she's seen yet.

The Knights were being controlled by Lamia. And that's the first thing, because the _Knights_ were, but Merlin wasn't. According to what she's heard since Arthur turned up with Gaius, it's men that should have been affected by Lamia's charm, not just Knights. So why wasn't Merlin affected?

If Arthur knew, he'd take the opportunity to call Merlin a girl and then throw something at him in retaliation for Merlin's witty retort. But Gwen knew there was something strange about it, beyond Merlin just being Merlin, beyond Merlin being the exception to every rule.

Lamia had looked at Merlin like he was the _enemy_. Like she felt _threatened_ by him. And that was all very well, but Merlin couldn't hurt a fly.

So what was it that Lamia saw?

Gwen wondered, but doubted she'd ever find out - Merlin seemed open, but was surprisingly closed lipped on the oddest of topics. She only hoped that Merlin would choose to take her into his confidence.

Secondly, she knows she can't blame the Knights for this. It wasn't their fault - Lamia was controlling them.

It's just hard to remember that when she's watching Gaius wrap up Merlin's back, seeing the stripes of black and blue splattering across it.

She knows that the Knights would be horrified by what they'd done, if they ever remembered, but she also knew that they were unlikely to ever know about it. Merlin wasn't the kind of person to tell them of it, and Gwen certainly wasn't going to volunteer the information. They didn't appear to remember and the bruises would fade soon enough.

But not fast enough for her liking. Every time that Merlin went to do one of his chores, he would wince and she would hear a sharp intake of breath that told her the bruises had caught against something, or that he'd bent his fractured wrist the wrong way. She'd seen him shy away from the Knight, whether they'd been influenced by Lamia or not.

And for that reason Gwen finds herself acting coldly towards them. It's not for her, it's for Merlin. Because goodness knows Merlin is pretending like nothing's wrong.

It hurts her to watch. He's putting on a mask, and none of them can see it. If she wasn't watching so hard, even she would think he was fine.

For that, not even Elyan is spared her wrath, though dazed and confused he is. The Knights have hurt _Merlin_, the one person who would do anything for anyone.

When Arthur asks her why she is so angry with them she tells him. Because _someone_ needs to know - someone else who can watch out for Merlin.


	4. Arthur

**I hope you like Arthur's POV x I thought he would be the most conflicted because he's got to go between his duties as a King, as a friend and as a Knight xx Please read and review xx**

**Arthur's POV**

Arthur feels a surge of rage well up when he hears how the Knights have treated Merlin. These Knights are _his_, but so is Merlin so they have no right to hurt him.

The Knights are his, so Lamia had no right to take them either.

All the emotions run wild inside him, conflicting and contradicting. He doesn't know what to think. From what Gwen says this wasn't the Knights fault, and he can hardly blame them for being hoodwinked by magic, can he?

On the other hand, this was _Merlin_ and Merlin was the exception to so many rules - like the one that said a Prince couldn't be friends with a servant, never mind a King (not that he'd admit to that). Merlin is special, Arthur knows that.

But so do the Knights and if they were in their right minds they never would have hurt him.

Hurt him.

The mere _thought_ of someone seriously injuring Merlin inspires fury in him all over again, no matter the utter betrayal Merlin must have felt when his friends turned on him. He feels the urge to punish those responsible, but how can he punish the Knights for this?

This wasn't their fault.

This was Lamia's.

And, more than that, he knows that Merlin wouldn't _want_ the Knights to be punished. Instead he'd defend their actions to his dying breath, no matter how much it hurt.

That was one of the things that was special about Merlin. Once you had him as a friend you had him for life, Morgana being the only notable, and understandable, exception.

And the idea that because of that he injuries would go unnoticed, unpunished...

So Arthur really doesn't know what to do. His thoughts and feeling are clashing. He can't banish them (something he probably does far too often), he can't execute them (and he doesn't want to), he can't put them into the dungeons.

They are all things that the knights don't deserve.

But something primal in Arthur cries out for vengeance for his soul brother, even if it was his pack brothers who caused the injury. He doesn't know where this desire comes from, only that it's there, over-riding common sense.

He can't punish the Knights.

And he can't let Merlin's treatment go unpunished.

He is stuck between a rock and a hard place - until an obvious punishment occurs to him. He cannot injure the Knights in retaliation, nor send them away.

But he _can_ humiliate them.

A day in the stocks would be less than they deserve.

But Merlin would probably enjoy it - and wasn't that what this was for?


	5. Elyan

**Sorry for the wait on this - I know I'm on holiday, but I've been really busy and the last few days I haven't had much enthusiasm for this story (sorry but true) x I meant to have this up yesterday, but it wasn't finished yet x Please read and review xx**

**Elyan's POV**

When Elyan wakes up it is in confusion. Where is he? What has happened? Where is Gwen, and the Knights? Where is Lamia? _What_ is Lamia?

He quickly assesses that he is in what the castle uses as a medical bay when too many people are ill for them to simply be in Gaius' chambers. He gives an experimental wriggle before stretching, feeling the ache of his muscles but no pain. He feels uninjured, but sore.

Gwen is hovering at his bedside, one hand in his, a strange look on her face as he stiffly turns to look at her. It is concerned and yet oddly disapproving, as though she is angry at him - for what he doesn't know.

Merlin also seems oddly tense, prompting Elyan to ask worried questions as to the health of the other Knights, the only other cause for concern he can think of.

Arthur, holding Gwen's free hand, reassures him easily, looking just as confused by Gwen's peculiar manner as he. He tells Elyan that Lamia was a creature of magic who enchanted them and injured and he feels rather than sees Gwen tense. The King continues by saying that Lamia is dead, dead at Guinevere's hand, and he feels something like fury at this woman who has forced his sister to kill. Gwen looks angry herself, but her glare is directed at Elyan, not at the neighbouring wall. In his concern for the other Knights though, he pushes it out of his mind, interpreting it as fear for himself and the Knights whilst enchanted.

Elyan looks over his shoulder, to see Leon leaning against one wall and Gwaine striding in through the door, looking as carefree as ever.

"Glad to see you up at last mate," He says cockily, as per usual.

Elyan is just glad that none of them are injured.

* * *

A few days later Arthur starts acting strangely as well, mainly around Percival, Leon and Gwaine, than himself. It puts him at an objective distance but even from here he cannot tell what the other Knights have done wrong, only that it has caused Arthur to behave even more protectively than ever towards Merlin.

He cannot work out why that it. Merlin is like the loveable little brother all of them love to tease, but all of them love him in equal measure. Why would they want to hurt him?

He can feel no reason for them to have done so, nor can he remember such an event occurring.

All he knows is that Merlin seems usually tense over the last few days, prior even to Arthur hovering over him like a mother hen. He has been scurrying around and keeping out of sight, soundless as a mouse, and it unsettles Elyan. Merlin is the one friend you can always count on to visit when you are in trouble and Merlin has only dropped by to ask about the health of the Knights once.

He seems to be avoiding them all, and Elyan doesn't know why. He suspects that if he does, he will also have a reason for Arthur's odd over protectiveness.

He also suspects this it has something to do with Lamia.


	6. Percival

**Here's the second to last chapter! This one is my longest yet, so I hope I can get the most feedback from it :) So please read and review xx**

**Percival's POV**

When Arthur throws them into the stocks he doesn't explain. He just does it, a look of mingled anger and pity on his face. Percival doesn't know what causes either, nor what caused them to end up being humiliated. Gwaine takes it well, as he does most things, looking slightly confused as to why it's happening before shrugging it off. With the amount he drinks, he has become used to doing things and not knowing exactly _why_ he's doing it. He shouts cocky things to the crowd, asking them to mind his hair.

Leon and Elyan both look just as bewildered as he feels. This is strange, even for Arthur, but if he didn't have a reason then either Gwen or Merlin would have talked him out of it by now.

It isn't until Merlin comes down and tells them that he's tried to get Arthur to release them (and he clearly hasn't) that the Knights start to seriously wonder what they've done wrong. It takes a lot for Arthur to completely disregard Merlin's advice, unless it's coming from Agravaine and from what they've heard Agravaine isn't pleased with the situation the Knights are in.

When they ask Merlin if he knows why they are in the stocks, he pales and gives them a rambling non-answer before escaping, claiming to have chores (which he normally gets out of for a friend in need, and in need they certainly are) and to need to avoid getting hit with flying fruit, he's just got this neckerchief (Percival wonders if Merlin ever washes those clothes, he's never seen the servant in anything else).

Merlin definitely knows something, and he isn't willing to tell the Knights what.

They wonder what they have done that is this bad, but none of them can recall.

It is Arthur who puts them out of their misery, when he comes down to personally release them. Before they can head off for a bath, or to the tavern (as Gwaine had been headed), he directs them to his chambers, but the request is an order. Percival wonders if they are to be further punished for this transgression none of them can remember and this doesn't seem fair. Gwaine evidently thinks so to and tells Arthur so.

Arthur tells him that there is no fit punishment for what they've done, for multiple reasons.

Percival wonders at this, until he finds out what they've done. After that it is only too plain what they've done to deserve the stocks and he's surprised that, enchantment or not, Arthur was so lenient with them.

Merlin is the one they all care about, the little brother all of them adore and the wise old brother who uses his head rather than his sword.

The thought that Percival had used his strength, the one thing that he'd sworn he would always use to protect, against a friend like that cuts him to his core. His strength has always been used to protect the weak, not intimidate them, and _especially_ not Merlin (not that anyone can claim he is weak, not after this).

Percival wonders at the strength Merlin has, to look them in the eye after this, after all of the horrible things they've said to him. He looks at his fellow Knights and knows all of them feel the same stabbing in his gut as he does. Gwaine looks as though he's burning alive and Percival feels even more sympathy for his brother Knight because it's no secret that the roguish man adores Merlin.

The look they share is clear. They all have some _serious_ grovelling to do.


	7. Gwaine

**I've changed my mind and I'm going to do another chapter I think, so please read and review this one to tell me where you want it to go x**

**Gwaine's POV**

There is something like his sword stabbing through his chest, a pain that won't go away. Not since Arthur told them what they had done to Merlin.

And one of the worst things is that he can't remember it. He thinks maybe he could help Merlin if he could, but all he can remember is Lamia's frightened eyes and the gold flash of fire.

Only now does he notice how Merlin is avoiding them even when he is with them, averting his eyes and looking away because he can't seem to bare to look.

Gwaine supposes now that he knows he can understand Merlin's strange behaviour.

Merlin is his first friend, his first _proper_ friend, beyond the men he met in taverns and the women that landed in his bed. The lanky servant had seen through the facade that Gwaine put on and even beyond that, reading Gwaine like a book. At first he'd found it frankly scary, but Merlin had quickly established what kind of a man he was, one that wouldn't stab Gwaine in the back.

So Gwaine had trusted him.

And now _he_ has stabbed Merlin in the back.

Yet another pang of self hatred runs through him and he looks down at his hands, barely being able to imagine putting them anywhere near Merlin with the intent of doing harm.

But despite that a flash of memory stirs, the sound of fists hitting something and a sharp cry, and a bloodied neckerchief.

Gwaine retches.

* * *

He needs to apologise to Merlin, more so than he's ever needed to do anything in his life. He tries to run straight to Merlin's chambers to apologise, but Percival and Leon stop him, Arthur agreeing. Right now, if he runs straight in on Merlin and startles him, Gwaine is likely to do more harm than good, and that's something _none_ of them want.

The other Knights look just as sick as Gwaine does, a distant look passing over their eyes before they look as queasy as Gwaine feels and he knows that they are getting flashes as well. Percival looks down at his hands like he can't believe what he is seeing, like he's just discovering something horrible. And he is.

Gwaine hates this - and he hates Lamia. He almost wishes she was still alive just so that he could punish her for what she's done. His friendship with Merlin has lasted sieges and battles and bandits, only to be destroyed by a meddling _snake_ pretending to be a frightened girl.

Well, he won't let it.

He rufuses to let it - he's not losing Merlin, not if it kills him. Merlin is the one person who has never made him feel like he's got to apologise for who he is, not that he says it.

Merlin is his friend.

And some snake woman is not going to change that, not on his life.


	8. Gaius

**Sorry for the wait on this - I've been crazy busy with school and homework and I've got all my exams coming up soon :) But please read and review for this last chapter to tell me what you think x :)**

**Gaius POV **

It doesn't matter that it's not their fault, not really. He wants to blame something and he needs it, because Gaius has just spent the last few weeks watching his ward wander around like a wraith, powerless to help. He's seen the bruises on Merlin's back, watched them fade, and watched the Knights cut deeper into the scars they left with their thoughtless comments.

Merlin seems to have the right idea of what these Knights have in their heads, and it isn't much.

But he can't do anything, except prompt Arthur to do something, because he's only the Court Physician (not that it could stop him) and because Merlin wouldn't want them to be harmed (and that might not be enough to stop him either, not once he's got started).

Gaius supposes that he could put a tonic of some sort into their drinks and watch them squirm, but the physician's instinct is to help people, not to poison them.

Even if this time he really wants to.

He watches the Knights go into the stocks and once Merlin has found out and had a fit at Arthur (who refuses to release them), he subtly encourages his ward to go join the crowds and throw fruit at them.

After all, most people would just consider it a friend getting their own back.

(And this is a friend getting their own back, only it's Arthur doing it for Merlin because the raven haired man refuses to.)

When Arthur tells the Knights what they've done, he knows straight away. They go straight from swaggering around the castle to hunching up and whenever they pass Gaius in the corridors they look away, ashamed.

He knows it wasn't their fault, but he can't help the flash of anger at the terror stricken look on Merlin's face as Gwaine heads towards him looking murderous. Only the difference is that Gwaine is angry at himself, not Merlin.

Gaius wants to hit him over the head anyway.

It's like that for a few days longer, Merlin hiding out in his chambers and Arthur assigning more chores to him, simply so he can't do _that,_ and the Knights following him around reminding him of lost love-sick puppies, one that's just been kicked.

Gaius just wants to bang their heads together and maybe bang _his_ against a wall, watching them dance around each other.

This isn't going to do anything and right now Merlin's _hurting_ and needs his friends.

Which is why Gaius refuses to feel guilty when he manages a convenient excuse to put them all into the same room and shuffles away suspiciously, the key in his pocket.

When he comes back to let them all out three hours later Merlin is smiling like he hasn't since Lancelot died and Gaius breathes a sigh of relief.

No matter what destiny says, it can still be broken.

_Merlin _can still be broken.

This time he hasn't. And Gaius is grateful for it.

But he refuses to let there be a next time.


End file.
